Day 31 - Happy Halloween!

Day 31: Do you feel like 31 days has helped you open up more about your child(ren)
No, I feel I'm pretty open already.  It was good though to think over some things I haven't talked about in awhile and to see the difference of where I was a year ago and where I am now.

I am a big lover of Halloween.  I know some Christians don't celebrate because they think it's the devil's day or something.  I don't think I'm celebrating the devil by celebrating Halloween anymore than a non believer is celebrating Jesus by buying Christmas presents.  To be honest, I just want free candy!
I've never been creeped out by costumes and even now, having a dead baby, I'm still not creeped out by the imagery of skeletons and tombstones and zombies. I do wonder two things about children's costumes though: 1) why do little girls need to dress like tranny hookers?  Have you seen some of the costumes available now?  Disgusting.  2)  why would you want to dress your child like a skeleton or any other dead thing?  Why can't kids just be fun and playful and childlike?  Caleb is a puppy this year, Abigail is the red queen from Alice in Wonderland (a respectful dress that goes down to her ankles), and I was a milkmaid for a party I went to on Saturday night.  Again a respectful dress not the skanky version.  One thing has changed though, it used to be a tradition for me to watch some scary horror movies this time of year.  I can't do that anymore.  My anxiety is just way too present.  I can't fill my head and soul with that kind of stuff anymore, especially the slasher stuff.  I will most likely never go to another haunted house either.  I remember going to one years ago and it was an "insane asylum" set up.  In one of the rooms a woman was sitting in a rocking chair holding a bloodied doll head.  Talking to it and rocking it.  Obviously meant to be a woman who had gone crazy and killed her child or lost her child and went crazy with grief.  Back then I thought nothing of it except "holy morbid!"  If I saw that now I'd flip my wig.  I know how closely I came to being that woman.