Day 11

Day 11: It is said that Father's and Mother's grieve differently. Do you feel this is true with your angel's father?

I do and not because I think the pain is any less.  I think men often feel it is their role to stay strong and take care of the woman.  I know my husband did.  I think his main focus after we lost Blaine was to make sure that I was okay and that I had what I needed.  Whether it was random hugs and kisses or nightly massages or asking me a hundred times a day if I was okay, he made me his focus.  He still grieved and cried and went through all of the emotions that I did but he was more private with his feelings and held them in a bit more.  I also think men are not raised to believe it's okay to publicly express their hurt or to talk about it openly, even in a group of other parents.  Even yesterday when we were at my sister in laws house my daughter was smothering my son with kisses and the aunt said "he won't want you to kiss him so much one day."  And I said "yes he would because I'm raising him to be affectionate."  And she replied that he would get beat up by his friends if he was that affectionate.  That's the problem right there.