A Random Act of Kindness

I'm glad I postponed writing today until this evening. I took my daughter to the wading pool at the park. I'm sitting there minding my own business when out of nowhere comes this beautiful little boy. He couldn't have been more than 18 months. He was walking but not steady, still wobbly. He walked right up to me grinning from ear to ear. And then he did the kindest thing a little boy could ever do for a dead baby momma. He put his arms around me and gave me a huge hug. I almost burst into tears. It was so sweet. His dad of course came running over apologizing about how friendly he was. I couldn't really say anything. I just said "no problem, he's such a sweetheart." And then the dad ushered him away but he kept looking back at me and smiling.

I try not to look for signs. Yes, it seems like I see more Monarch butterflies this year but maybe that's just because I didn't notice them before. But I've had more than one instance in my life where I've felt that something or someone was showing me something. Just last week when I am 80% certain I had another miscarriage I was walking over to the doctors office and two things happened. I was in a pretty pitiful mood. And out of nowhere comes this little puppy dog. He starts following me and jumping on me wanting to play. I had to walk him back towards his house because he wouldn't leave my side and go back to his owner. And then I didn't walk more than ten feet away from him and a butterfly flew right smack into my face. Were they sent to cheer me up? Was the little guy at the park sent to give me the hug that Blaine cannot?

Maybe it's cheesy but I hope so.

After I dropped Big Sis off at daycare today I was walking home in another pretty pitiful mood. And this voice came into my head and I am convinced the thoughts were put in my head by God. He was saying to me more than once "why are you in such despair? do you not know where he is? do you not know he is safe with me?" And of course I answered I know where he is and that he is perfectly happy and safe. But I am here and I am not. And the voice asked the same things over and over the entire walk home and each time I could not deny that I knew my son was perfectly happy where he was. The problem is that I am impatient, I am scared, I am sad, I am wanting him here with me. So, the voice and I did not get anything resolved this morning. But then he sent this little boy to give me a hug. One random act of kindness that has given this sad momma a smile and a sigh of happiness.