Sometimes I just want to be a crackhoe so I can have as many kids as I want

I have been debating all week how to tell everyone, trying to think of a creative way. I also thought I didn't want to tell anyone for awhile just in case something bad happened. So, I've only told a select few, too excited to contain it for much longer. And then today it all blew up in my face. Or in my underwear if you want to get graphic which at this point I don't really care. I am in a bitter angry place right now. The kind of place where if someone looks at me the wrong way I may very well punch them in the throat. I am sitting here at my computer having a miscarriage. I don't say "another miscarriage" because Blaine was not. The term miscarriage always makes me think "miscarriage of justice." And that is exactly what this is. It is injustice that a healthy loving educated employed married mother has problems bringing another child into the world when every crack hoe on welfare can get sneezed on by a guy and pop out another mouth for my tax dollars to feed. I feel like going for a walk. A walk in my area usually brings the unwanted sight of a smoking pregnant woman or a woman pushing her 6th kid around or a woman on the bus too busy texting her friends or latest crush to pay attention to the screaming baby in the stroller. I'd like to go on a walk right now and find one of these women and punch them in right in the fucking throat. How dare they breed like rabbits while I am in the middle of losing my second child of 2010! Took a positive pregnancy test on Sunday...Tuesday I was 5 weeks along and feeling a little nauseaus. Went out and bought a pregnancy journal. How did I get so stupid to think I might actually get to finish filling this one in. Today woke up feeling fine, went to work, went to the bathroom for the 5th time to check for blood and behold! The crimson tide. Oh and not just blood but a lovely glob of something. Left work went to the doctor. My beta has dropped so it doesn't appear that I am pregnant anymore. 3 options: 1 I was never pregnant and may have a cyst in my uterus which caused my body to think it was pregnant and give a positive test result...2 I was pregnant and am not now but for some reason my cervix is still closed and only blood is coming out and if that keeps on then I will have to get a d&c, yeah my first abortion!!...3 I was pregnant and still am pregnant and am just having some issue with bleeding. Have an ultrasound scheduled for 8 am in the morning at the hospital. Have to get through the night. And I'm out of fudgeos. And now I have to make a list of who I told so I can call them and tell them "guess what another dead baby." I read a quote on someone's blog that said "are you still a mother if all you give birth to is death?"