One Year

A year ago today we were out for dinner at a local restaurant. Coincidentally this was the same restaurant hubby and I ordered from the day we found out we were having Abby. We had dinner and I decided on a lark to buy a pregnancy test on the way home. We had tried in December to get pregnant and I was pretty confident it had worked. My AF was due that night or the next morning so I originally planned to wait until Sunday to test. I couldn't wait though, too excited. We bought the test and went home, I went into the bathroom and took the test. I was pregnant. I ran out and hugged my husband and we told Abby. She laughed and gave me a big hug. We were so happy. Welcome to our lives Blaine! We had no doubt in our minds that by the end of the year we would have our family of four. We were hoping for another girl. It would just make things easier since for a year or two they will have to share a room. And it would be cheaper because girls can pass down clothes and share toys. Within weeks though I knew I was having a boy. I've been able to tell with all three pregnancies. I started calling him my little nudger and as time went on he became Blaine, only in my head though. We were so thrilled. I told everyone right away. By the third week in January I was already feeling really sick. I told everyone at work and all of my friends. Changed my FB status. I wasn't waiting to tell anyone because there was no way anything was going to happen to my baby! I took my calendar at work and planned out the next nine months, vacation days to go for dr appts, my last day of work. My family was thrilled, we were thrilled. I was just two months behind my sister so Christmas would be a busy one for the grandparents. Who was that glass half full girl? Looking back I can't believe the optimism I had. The blind naivety. Pregnancy meant life for people like me. I ate well, worked out, my family had no history of loss, not that I knew of at the time. Blaine was coming and I was nervous about having a boy. I wasn't sure I'd know what to do with a boy. I remember being at someone's house once and taking a boy to the bathroom with Abby and telling him to sit and go pee. And he looked at me like I was an idiot and said "I don't sit when I pee." I don't know! My life changed so much that January. I was suddenly the mother of two! I had the million dollar family. One boy and one girl. Isn't that what everyone dreams of? The house in the suburbs, the golden retriever, the boy and the girl. How quickly things changed. One year ago today I was in a bubble knowing that my first son was on his way.