Mixed Bag

I'm feeling pretty much the same these days. Mixed bag of emotions. Still eagerly awaiting Caleb's arrival and wondering how I'm going to adjust and cope. It will be strange to be the mother of a living baby again. I hope I remember how to do everything!
Having some physical symptoms of approaching labour. Nothing to say it will happen today or tomorrow though. Just my body preparing. It feels good (well not physically). It's funny how I'm not at all worried about the pain. I feel like the actual labour will be the least of my concerns. I had a really painful "false" contraction the other night and got really excited waiting for the next one. I'm more worried about my emotional and mental state. I said to hubby last night that I've stopped worrying about Caleb dying before birth. I feel confident he will be born and come home. All of my tests for my weekly checkup yesterday were perfect. He's still kicking up a storm in there. It all looks good. I have shifted my anxiety to after his birth. I thought that this was progress but apparently it doesn't sound like progress to others. He worries that I've just given myself something else to stress about rather than actually stopping the stress. I guess that's true. It's really hard to explain to people how I'm feeling right now though. I don't want to sound bitter or resentful or crazy. A part of me wishes we had gone to that subsequent pregnancy group and that I could hear some other Mom's talk about having the same feelings. Right now I don't know if I'm just being a bitter barbie or if what I'm feeling is common.