A Happier Anniversary

Today is my 4 year wedding anniversary. I feel sad that our wedding anniversary will forever be overshadowed by Blaine's birthday, such a bittersweet event. It's hard to focus on doing something fun and meaningful with hubby. But we try. Even last year, the day after, we made sure we went out for lunch together. Today we're not doing anything special but we're going for a nice dinner on Saturday to one of our fav steak houses. I think I fell in love with my husband all over again last year. Even the sad times like watching him cry or hearing him cry in the shower made me feel more for him. The way he took care of me the weeks after. We got into a routine of him giving me a massage everynight the weeks after Blaine died. I really relied on him and I worried that I needed him too much. But he never faltered. He was always there, loving me and caring for me and being the best friend and support system I needed. Now, a year later I feel we are much closer. They say that losing a child can tear a couple apart because men and women grieve so differently and on different timelines. But for us it has done the opposite. We may not grieve the same but he has always tried to understand what I'm going through and has always tried to be whatever I needed to get through the day. He may not understand my irrational fears or ocd fixation on some things but he accepts them and doesn't give me a hard time. I can't thank God enough for bringing me this man. We are total opposites, me being a book smart, kind of nerd, anxious homebody, more comfortable with a book than a live person. And he's an outgoing, social butterfly, jock who loves to be around people and has 300+ friends on FB! We make it work though because it's important to us. We may not always think the same but we want the same. I hope I get to celebrate Anniversary 44 with him!