April Showers

April. I hate your face. It crossed my mind on April 1st, it being Fools Day, that if someone had of told me last April 1st that this would be my life, that I would have one dead son and a living one on the way, I would have told them that was a really sick joke and probably would have cut them out of my life. But here I am one year later and it wasn't a joke. Here I am 10 days away from the anniversary of the worst day of my life. Actually I'd have to say April 12-13th were the worst two days since I laboured for 31 hours. I have been reliving those days over and over in my head for the past couple of weeks. More than usual that is. I even started questioning what happened. Why didn't the doctors try to stop it? When I got to the hospital my water bag was still intact. Why couldn't they sew me up and stop the contractions? I haven't had those questions in awhile and I know if there was something to be done they would have done it. I joked with my hubby that since it was Dr Sasquatch even if it was experimental he probably would have tried it out on me. This sort of thing is his specialty after all. I just can't help replaying every moment. Wondering if the artificial sweeteners I had caused the preterm labour (yes, they can in case you didn't know but it's not something most doctors tell you), or was it my workout routine, was it stress or work? I'll never know. ATTN READERS: I have been inspired by Maggie to post other Angelversary's on here. I created a page to list them monthly. Please comment if you would like me to include your baby. It doesn't have to be this month. I'll keep the list and update each month. Just comment with your baby's (babies) name(s) and date(s)