I hate when I have nothing to do at work except think. I almost always end up thinking bad things. Not good.
I'm taking a little break from reading new blogs. I'm still reading the ones I've always read but I'm not adding any on. Partly because I've been so exhausted when I get home at night that I can barely stay awake through dinner. And secondly I need a break from hearing more heartbreaking stories. Before Blaine I had no idea how many different ways a baby could die. And to be honest I wish I was still that naive young woman who thought pregnancy meant life. Don't get me wrong I love my sisters that I've met and all of Blaine's Buds. But I wonder if I continue to read story after story how will I ever stop worrying? I have this idea that I need to start filling my mind and heart with positivity, a strict diet of positive thoughts. One of the first verses I memorized post Blaine was Phillipians 4: 6-8...it ends like this "whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy - meditate on these things."
So, I am left to wonder what I should do. I can't leave the community because it sustains me in some pretty rough moments. But I need to focus on health and love and a good outcome. What is the balance?
7 comments:
I think you just have to learn the balance over time. What works for some doesn't for others... I had to stop reading other blogs simply because I don't have the time! Another great verse is" 2 Cor 4:18 - "For we believe not in the things which are seen, but the things that are unseen. For the things which are seen are temporary and the things which are unseen are eternal"
I have that reference as a tattoo. I love it! <3 hugs to you <3
You should do whatever feels right. Take time for yourself when you need it, take time away from blogging when you need it, and ask for support when you need it. I don't think there is any wrong answer. Hope you find the balance you are looking for.
darling, you do what is best for YOU. i did the same thing. i couldn't take it any longer. i had to escape (for other reasons though.)
…we'll all still be here. still writing, still missing, still living.
lots of love mama!
I will occasionally take breaks from internet, blogs, facebook whatever just to gain some perspective. Sometimes it can be overwhelming to read about so much loss, as much as we want to be there for our babyloss sisters. Most important person in your life is you though- don't feel bad about looking out for numero uno. : ) <3
I have been struggling with balance too. I spend so much time in babyloss world, I forget what the other world is like. The world that used to be normal for me is not the abnormal world anymore.
Before losing Jacob, I didn't know the many ways babies could die either. I knew a few and that was enough, I didn't want to know more. Now it surrounds me. I will be amazed if I ever have a healthy, living baby. That the baby somehow escaped all the things that can go wrong. When I am in a crowded place, like Union Station, I see all the normal people there and remind myself that they were all babies that were born alive. That babies are born everyday and everything is fine.
You have to do whatever is right for you. If that means taking a break for awhile, we'll miss you, but understand. I may be going on a break soon too.
I agree, I have to give myself breaks from the internet too. I don't know what I would do without this community of women though, so after a few days I'm always back. =) It's hard to find balance in this new reality of ours though. check out my blog, I just gave you an award.
i, too, struggle every day with focusing on the positive. i do a pretty good job, i guess, except when i see babies or pregnant women. but i have my moments when i start thinking about the fact that the majority of people around me at any given time probably don't have to do the same thing, and then i focus on how unfair it all is.
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