I have just cleaned my bedroom and inevitably ended up reorganizing Blaine's things and cleaning them as well. I miss him. I miss what could have been. It's not even really "missing" because I didn't know Blaine. Let's be honest. For all I know Blaine could have grown up to be a real jerk. He was a baby in the womb. He didn't do anything that I can "miss." So, I guess that's not the word. "Long." I long for the little kicks and punches I felt so early on. I wish. I wish I had a lifetime of memories to miss. It's hard to explain to someone who has never "lost" a pregnancy. All of the things you thought would be your life for the next 60 years are gone.
I'm not unusually sad or depressed today. I'm just thinking of him a lot. It's just one of those days that I still have every once in awhile where I have to revisit that time. That time when grief was fresh and new.
My sad little attempt at doing something creative! lol Couldn't find a "perfect" background.
2 comments:
I know those days. HUGS
Love to hear life is good! And course there is the "yet". I know that feeling. life is good here, and yet. Thinking a lot more about Acacia these days as her three year anniversary is in Sept. I think Aug. might be harder for me than Sept. as I anticipate the anniversary.
Love seeing Blaine's name!
XOXO
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