The Dream.
Last year I was dreaming about two boys. This year I am blessed enough to be holding one, loving one, nursing one, teaching one.
I remember how anxious I was about Caleb, would he make it? I wish I could go back and reassure pregnant me that he would. Tell her to enjoy it. Looking back at how nervous I was I know I missed important things. I remember the anxiety more than I remember the joy. I do remember the kicks and nudges. How he'd let me know he was still there, still moving and breathing. He is truly a Momma's boy. He may be one of the few men I've ever met that "gets me."
I never let a day go by without thanking God for these babies of mine. All of them. A, B, and C.
2 comments:
I remember the anxiety more than the joy too, because that's what was there. I wanted to be more excited, but at the same time, I couldn't let my guard down and risk getting my heart broken again because I wasn't prepared.
This is random - but I wanted to let you know that I wrote Blaine's name down the other day. I went to a Day of the Dead exhibit at a local museum and one of the alters on display was made by 3 mamas who all lost their first babies. One of the areas of the exhibit was butterfly stickers to write people's name on them and stick them on the wall. I was teary-eyed through most of the exhibit, and wrote down Acacia's name on a butterfly. Then I thought of many of the other BLMs that I know and you and Blaine came to mind. Unfortunately I didn't have a camera on me to take a picture - but I wanted to let you know Blaine's name was up on that wall with Acacia's and a few others as well.
Love to you and all of yours!
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