A Break

I have felt the need to take a break from this space for awhile. Not from reading but from writing. There is just so much going on in my head everyday but unfortunately it's nothing new. I find I still need to visit here everyday. I need to read the blogs of Blaine's friends, I need to look at his name photos, it is my time with him. I talked about this to Dana. This space is Blaine's, even if it is shared with his big sis and little bro. When I blog or do blog related activities it is like I'm spending time with him. It's the same to me as taking sis to karate and watching her learn and play. It's the same as lying on the bed making googly faces at brother and watching him learn and discover. This is my time with my middle child, my first son, the one I am waiting to meet. I wish I still had "profound" things to write everyday. Like I did last summer when it was still so fresh. Now, I think we've settled into our new norm. The emotions I have, the guilts, the regrets, the joys, are what will last me a lifetime. Nothing new is going to happen.