Gratitude

Since yesterday was all about everything I hate I figured I should share some things that give me great joy. Things I love. Things or people that comfort me. Even with such a sadness there are moments when I laugh, when I forget the heartache, when I feel whole, when I am a Mother and a Woman.

My husband...he is such a goofball he makes me laugh all the time. He is always a shoulder to cry on and hasn't gotten tired of taking care of me yet.

My daughter Abigail...she is such a character. She is 4 going on 13! Her mother's attitude and her father's strength. She's going to be a force.

Flowers...yellow flowers. I love sunflowers and lilies. Yellow lilies. If I had a house my backyard would be filled with sunflowers and lilies.

Friends...you know who you are. You've been in "The Pit" with me from the beginning. You're reading this. You're caring about this. It's interesting, when something tragic happens you see your friends in a different light. Some people who I thought I was close too have distanced themselves. I'm not sure where we are at this time or what our relationship will be in the future. And then there are those who I didn't imagine I was close too who have stepped up. Some even just acquaintances who have shown me that they care and that they're here. Those are the people I will cherish forever. One of the best conversations I had was with a woman from work who doesn't even work in my department. We've chatted over the years but I never would have considered her a friend. But she took the time to not just be nosy about what happened (as most people are they don't really care they just want the sordid details) but this was different. She actually wanted to listen to me and encourage me. She reached out when people I've known for years didn't.

Music...what would I do without music. My current playlist includes Robbie Williams; Lady Gaga; Bon Jovi; Rihanna; Mary J Blige; Rascall Flatts; Taylor Swift; Alicia Keys; Glee cast; JayZ; Eminem; Coldplay; and of course Blue Rodeo. What would I do without Blue Rodeo. Whatever has happened in my life good or bad there is a Blue Rodeo song for it. It's like they're doing the soundtrack to my life. The title of this blog even is from a Blue Rodeo song "In My Bones" my son's song.

So I sign off today with some words from JayZ "Stranded (Haiti Mon Amour)" It just happens to be what I'm listening to right now.

"Our condolences as you fightin’ against this

We’re right by your side as we tryin’ to make sense of this
Heavenly father help us see through these problems
And for those that left, accept them into your garden"